stuck

aaaaaah
i'm in that place...you know, where you're homesick for everything old and comfy, like the first cd i ever owned (dctalk's jesus freak) and old cozy sweaters and no makeup and sit on the couch with a teddy, an old favourite book and some tea.... yet at the same time i just want something--everything--NEW! i want to be done NOW with school, with art history, with the house that i live in and with burlington and with all the people i never get to see because everyone's too busy...but i know that two minutes later i'll want that comfort zone back, like new years' eve when this group of friends gets together for the twice a year reunion (new years and camping trip--that's all?!) sad---i'm really looking forward to new year's eve.(and breakfast the next day! :))
it's so uncomfortable--i'm just squirmy and fidgety and baking chocolate cookies on the one day i can't eat chocolate (haha) and i want this university degree but i don't know what for, and i want to fill up this God-shaped hole but i don't know where to start, and it all seems to be getting more and more urgent. and i can't decide what kind of music i want to listen to, i just want all my feel-good favourites all at once (hint: i'll make myself a feel-good mix cd. it'll end up being a 12 cd collection haha) but i can't decide what old favourites i want so i want a new cd but i dunno what to go shopping for and uhoh. so the urgency makes me fidgety and squirmy and tired and then i just want to sleep and it's all still there the next day and AAAAH
:)
tonight is band practice. i'm looking forward to rocking out on my xylophone. just get rid of all the stress. maybe i should go snowboarding again.