sigh

space cadet

Standing at the peak where two waves meet
Are you just behind the other side of music?
Peering like a flower never taught to grow...

~FIF

Sometimes I feel like a wallflower in my own life.

Weird.

dear: heart.

sure wish i had a colour for your ache.

should know by now

late papers are the worst.

one of the last.

dependence

in the past two weeks, i have been confronted with my dependence on silly things.

last tuesday, when i lost my phone in kensington, it was like i'd lost my ability to get in touch with my family back in burlington...like i'd lost all contact (i did lose all my contacts---so if i'm not calling or texting you, it's because i don't have your number anymore. sorry!) with the world. replacing it was a headache, since koodo was having a bad week too. stress!

and this past monday, my dearly beloved camera fell to a sudden death on a parking lot in front of the lindt chocolate outlet in cambridge. all throughout this spectacular week i've sorely noted its absence like a missing finger poking a hole in my heart. and now it's another expensive thing to replace, do i really need it, that's a lot of money to spend, etc...

weird how we can get so attached to THINGS. i can't leave my house without: my camera, my phone, my wallet, my sunglasses, my journal, my bible--all of these necessary. i can go for days without actually using any of them directly or meaningfully, but as soon as i am physically separated from any of them or prevented somehow from answering any creative or devotional urge, then i can't even operate. weeiirrrdddd!!!

(i'm not saying my bible is a silly thing to be dependent on. i'm saying it's silly to need to carry it around so much when actually i don't take the opportunity to read it all the time. silly.)

so i'm learning to cherish every moment with my camera---when i replace it!---, phone, wallet, sunglasses, journal, bible.

learning to make moments meaningful with people, around these things.

stop yelling

news flash!

disagreements happen. we're human, created with so many different pairs of eyes through which we see the world in so many different ways.

really!

once we understand that this is part of who we are, maybe we need to keep this in mind when we interact with each other.

also, maybe if we remember that this is part of who we are---that we are prone to disagree based on the amazing diversity with which God created us---maybe if we keep that in mind then people wouldn't be so mad when they misunderstand each other. maybe we wouldn't get so upset when we don't use the right words. (which words are right? who decides that?)

who's right, and who's wrong? maybe the wrong is with the person who finds fault with people who see differently. maybe the wrong is with the person who forgets that the other person will find fault with whatever they say. maybe the wrong is with the eggshells which break and reverberate through reality, warning of temper-stuous clouds breaking on the near horizon.

maybe the wrong is the original sin we have, which blinds us to the gloriously composite kaleidoscope image of God that we are failing so hard to offer up to him.

...can it NOT matter who's right and who's wrong? can we maybe get out of that mindset, and address our interactions from a common perspective---that of our shared original sin---rather than building walls between us with edgy words...?

i firmly believe that a communal dose of humble pie would help with that new communal perspective. new Communal Project: learn how to fit a detox treatment AND a mirror inside a humble pie.

penny for your thoughts?

"Your brain is just too small for these big ideas.

One day, your brain will be bigger,

and then this will all make sense!"

My brilliant prof said this last week. Nice, eh?

It's so true.