oh, ontario

i can't believe i'm HOME. this is weird.

so immediately since getting home life has been crazy busy.
well...veg day, then some more vegging and hanging out, and THEN wedding craziness.
that was a lot of fun. and shannon and darryl! congratulations! have fun in NZ! (keep up with them in their blog during their 3.5 month trip. which i linked over there---->)

lfie isn't so crazy busy really...it's mostly just full. of energy things. like, parties that look like housewarming parties but are actually surprise birthday parties. dropping off a cousin at the airport, saying goodbye. GBS, which was tres emotional. school, which can be such a high and such a low. i've got a bit of a plan for this project...but i'm already second guessing, making other plans, eek.

and right away on the way home from buffalo, i had a conversation with mom about growing up...moving out, getting a real job...
you know at this point, 'any job' would work. it just needs to pay the bills. nothing's going to just jump out at me and say PICK ME I'M THE RIGHT JOB FOR YOU AND YOU'LL LOVE ME
so if i just go with something i COULD do, and decide to be happy doing that, and get good at it, and actually pursue it, and give myself enough time to do things that i love, then that would work too, right?
because it's true--i can't live here all my life. and i can't expect to live in canada without a car...especially if i'm living in cambelville, right dalia?
i'm so afraid of just taking that small step. maybe i DO need to do something drastic like study abroad for a year. hhmmm...

anyways, idiot needs sleep.