change of pace/edit

after all that sitting around and spending i've done...you'd think i'd be more than ready, even eager! to jump back into two, possibly three jobs!?
but no. never ready!

so zellers has been...fun...well, no. my second day, i walked into the store and my eyes did this weird reaction to the dry dry air in there. crackly and red! nice. i thought for sure someone was about to accuse me of being high on the job...hehe...
my third day, i went home in tears because i was so ready to quit. i really don't like working. but i just need to hang in there till christmas! flip! just to pay off the credit card bill. after that, well, somehow i'll figure out tuition, bridges, city/script...haha. maybe i should just keep working...

boo.
but it was nice to be back at the bistro today. people are normal there. and nice. and i can smile and be myself and not bother people about flipping hbc credit cards and rewards cards and sales and whatever else.

so besides the crazy work schedule, this funny social life has me hopping and yawning...i forget what i did monday night, but i've definitely been out, and late, every night since then. :) gooood job. it's fun...but weird. there are so many different groups of people who i love and care about...so many groups of people to keep in touch with, keep track of, hang out with...i love it, but it's also frustrating. i get comfortable with one group, then with another group, and i guess i'm not really being true to myself every time, because i have to adjust to each group in a different way at each event. and...it's a people thing.
it's tough to realize that someone i've known all my life really doesn't know me. it's also tough, but kinda funny, to realize that they really don't even want to know who i am now. they've figured out who i 'am' (uummm, that was a long time ago? i think i've changed a lot since then?) and...well it's nice to know this and to be 'set free' to be who i am now. but that doesn't help when they want to relate to me the way they did 'before', and i really don't need to go back in time like that, or get all defensive, which i tend to do...i'd much rather see other people, thank you. people who are cheering for me to get out of that little box, and who are, themselves, out of that box.
flip. i love to vent.

going out again tonight, whenever candice gets here. girls' night/weekend at aunt carolin's! heck yes. pjs and slippers stat. and tea.
have a gr-r-r-r-reat weekend!






PS! the TREE is up! it smells SO good and christmassy in this house---making christmas fudge ASAP.