I realized today that I have not had a normal summer in a long time. (this will be my 6th non-normal summer, I guess---except that each summer is even worse than before) I want summer to be 'normal' so that I can wear nice summery clothes and work on my tan and not be too tired to enjoy the normal enjoyable things about summer. I want to read the books that are on my reading list, and I want to do things like bag-building, which I have been hoping to do.
The thing about my version of summer (reality) is that I need to cram all summery activities into a total of maybe an hour or two per day. Can't get to the mall till after 8 usually (well, judging by today and by yesterday) and when stores close at 9, that's not enough time to really comb the mall for deals and for sweet summery stuff. Next time I'll just camp out at Winners... Except I don't want to go shopping every day, since my feet need a break too...
And Chapters is wonderfully open till 10, but today I ended up just walking through and looking at pretty books. (they're really beautiful! But there're SO many of them, I don't know where to start...) Reading would be a good break for my feet, but I sit down with a book and my eyes glaze over. (either that or I stay up all night reading, and yikes, that's not good!)
I don't think I'm complaining...mostly just observing the results of landscaping on my life. In order to survive even a week or two of spring clean-up, I need to be frugal with what I choose to spend my time on. (and I should choose sleep on a more regular basis, or else things like skipping-church-in-order-to-nap happen) But, practically speaking, in order to finance a life that even comes close to looking normal, I need to work. And this work pays.
But what is normal? I think normal for me needs to mean that I will have time and energy to hear from God. That I will have time and energy to not be a monster. That I will not be falling apart physically. Or mentally. That I can rest properly. (I wrote about shopping earlier--shopping definitely has nothing to do with my spiritual wellbeing, except that it really does feel good to look nice, compared to wearing dusty dirty smelly grubbies all day)
In theory, I want to say that normal would be seriously learning how to depend on God for everything and anything. In my choosing to work where I'm working, I want to say that I am in a place where I can seriously learn how to depend on God for everything and anything.
I know this stuff theoretically but again, practically speaking, I'm still a tired monster with sore feet and barely enough energy to read four Bible verses (never mind learn what they mean and pray through them! And then plan/start a future!) This is sad. I'm sad to say it's normal for this to happen during the summer months. I'd like to say it will change...I'm praying that it will change...
The thing about my version of summer (reality) is that I need to cram all summery activities into a total of maybe an hour or two per day. Can't get to the mall till after 8 usually (well, judging by today and by yesterday) and when stores close at 9, that's not enough time to really comb the mall for deals and for sweet summery stuff. Next time I'll just camp out at Winners... Except I don't want to go shopping every day, since my feet need a break too...
And Chapters is wonderfully open till 10, but today I ended up just walking through and looking at pretty books. (they're really beautiful! But there're SO many of them, I don't know where to start...) Reading would be a good break for my feet, but I sit down with a book and my eyes glaze over. (either that or I stay up all night reading, and yikes, that's not good!)
I don't think I'm complaining...mostly just observing the results of landscaping on my life. In order to survive even a week or two of spring clean-up, I need to be frugal with what I choose to spend my time on. (and I should choose sleep on a more regular basis, or else things like skipping-church-in-order-to-nap happen) But, practically speaking, in order to finance a life that even comes close to looking normal, I need to work. And this work pays.
But what is normal? I think normal for me needs to mean that I will have time and energy to hear from God. That I will have time and energy to not be a monster. That I will not be falling apart physically. Or mentally. That I can rest properly. (I wrote about shopping earlier--shopping definitely has nothing to do with my spiritual wellbeing, except that it really does feel good to look nice, compared to wearing dusty dirty smelly grubbies all day)
In theory, I want to say that normal would be seriously learning how to depend on God for everything and anything. In my choosing to work where I'm working, I want to say that I am in a place where I can seriously learn how to depend on God for everything and anything.
I know this stuff theoretically but again, practically speaking, I'm still a tired monster with sore feet and barely enough energy to read four Bible verses (never mind learn what they mean and pray through them! And then plan/start a future!) This is sad. I'm sad to say it's normal for this to happen during the summer months. I'd like to say it will change...I'm praying that it will change...
6 comments:
i totally hear you my dear! same here...except it's only summer number 4 for me:)
can i come over again soon? walk with you and kira? i need a walk. and talk. maybe a cry.
yes. please do! uumm sunday?
sunday is my sisters birthday. uh...friday night?
Yay, potential bag-building!
Let's talk soon. For real.
what the flip is a 'normal' summer?
i guess, 'normal summer' for workaholic dutch kids means spend ALL of your flipping time either working or recuperating from work. i posted this after spending time cleaning up other people's dusty dirty garbage, and watching 'them' walk around with their friends in their bright trendy new clothes which they can a. afford and b. wear because they have 'the' 'normal' summer. :)
you're right mieke. i can define my own normal...
sorry carol-lee! it's friday and i'm going to go sleep...
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