How to Kill a Landscaper:

1. Strategically place a glass bottle on her trimmer route. Clear glass is best, it's hard to see. Start peeling the label, so that it looks just like a harmless piece of paper fluttering in the grass. Put the bottle in tallish grass, maybe near a retaining wall or something. Sneaky.

2. Sit back and watch the glass shards fly. (Safety glasses are highly recommended. Pants would also be appropriate.)

3. In some cases, the impact of the glass might not finish her off. Maybe the loss of blood doesn't do the trick either. But don't worry----rage will smolder all day, and will eventually shrivel the landscaper's heart so that it either dries up completely, or explodes because of the force of her anger.

Just don't leave your fricking garbage lying around. It's so dangerous. And so, so, so annoying.