new chapter: GOHOP

end of august! already.

how did that happen.

i have a lot of half-finished thoughts in my head. thoughts which won't get finished for months at the rate i'm thinking. it's one of the more frustrating things about the landscaping season i'm in. existence is relegated to survival and to grouching about the things which hinder that. not a lot of celebrating because there's not a lot of room for things to celebrate. i'll celebrate when my stupid credit card no longer carries a balance. when i'm sitting down for longer than half an hour, when i can complete a thought and share it and follow it to some interesting conclusions. when this home has art hanging on the walls and overflowing bookshelves and good furniture for sitting and reading. i'll celebrate when i'm no longer focusing on surviving, when i'm able to thrive a little more freely.

that's not good enough for me. i want to celebrate life everyday, because i'm living life everyday. every new day again. i need to celebrate life everyday, because i'm finding celebration is like a muscle. like faith is. gotta work em out, everyday. train them up into strength which can withstand some knocking about or heavy winds of doubt. without that regular workout, of both faith and celebration, i'm a crusty shell of my normal self. go too long and i forget what (who?) fills that shell.

i shared with fellow GOHOP (greater ontario house of prayer) interns earlier this evening that i'm doing this internship because i'm not really sure what else to do. that's all i said. i guess this is more of that unfinished thought from earlier. i super hope and pray that the LORD will take the next ten intensive months with GOHOP and transform every thought into something that celebrates him and the life he has designed. that he would fill up this crusty shell with who he loves me to be.