awkwardness

so, situations always just...happen, and i let them go as long as i can ignore them until they start making me squirm. (the corner) learning slowly, the hard way, that just because you pretend you're not squirming doesn't mean you're not squirming. things don't just come together and solve themselves on their own. and if i'd get off my butt and be proactive about this, the only person squirming would be me. instead, i wait till the last possible minute and other people do the squirming instead. and then i'm STILL squirming, a whole lot more than i would have been in the first place. i'm ashamed of this...and i'm still squirming.... and i now no longer enjoy using that word.