yes, i'm once again linking to Laura's blog. (i always read other blogs before i post mine. dunno why. inspiration?)
uumm as i was driving home from sheridan today, thinking about dropping in on someone i don't know too well, who lost a grandma the other day... (i didn't--i'll do that on my way back to erindale, if she's not in peterborough)... i realized that last year at this time, calling trish would not have occurred to me. i would have been too awkward to call... did i grow up!?!? aaaaaaand last year at this time, the thought of serving on ecf exec really scared me, (i was happy and excited to do it but not at the right place...) and going into nomcom interviews i wasn't too sure how to answer the questions like 'how is God working in your life'.... did i grow up? because those things still bother me but really not so much. my focus has changed to looking at how he IS working in my life, rather than being nervous about the spotlight. (still nervous about the spotlight, but definitely less!)
aaaaand...well i just need to say that i feel already like an entirely new person...continuing with my last post i suppose: totally forgetting about the things i dealt with in the past and instead looking more to the present and to the future. God IS working in me: i'm not entirely sure how, but there's new direction, new hope, and new excitement for life. (every new day again---i love you SO much, five iron frenzy!)
so, i'm realizing this now but it'll probably take me a long while to figure out, notice, or even look for the details in this change...and even longer to consciously make those changes obvious in my life and the things that i do... and i'm scared to think about how much of the old self is going to stick--how much of the insecurity and lack of confidence, the occasional stutteriness and/or klutziness...there's a ton more, but those, for starters, are things that i wouldn't mind losing with this old self.
and it's too bad, but i haven't changed my attitude towards school. might have turned for the worse even---so i graduate eventually, with a degree or something. woopee...let's just get this midterm done eh? my procrastination issues haven't disappeared either. i guess i also sorta need to do a little work on my new self, maybe God'll appreciate some effort at least on my part..:) as my spiritual act of worship...that's the least i can do...
:)
on that note----saturday feb.11: living worship evening at sheffield URC. (cambridge area) the speaker (paul martin haha...a pastor. not the other one) is addressing this topic---worshipful heart---i think it's at 7.30. need a ride? let me know.
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