bread.

So I'm baking bread right now, for church. What a cool process. People in the church are taking turns to bake communion bread, praying through the loaf for the community. Praying while the yeast works through the dough that the grains would stick together, that the people in the community would be knit together as they eat of the one loaf. Praying that the body of Christ would indeed grow up into the body of Christ, through digesting the body of Christ. So many layers which make this image just soooooo awesome.

My one (current) hangup is this: When I knead the bread, I get SO ANNOYED because the dough gets all over my hands and it STICKS. Between my fingers, under my nails, under my ring. It doesn't come off easily with water, and it sticks sticks sticks. This is the second time I've used this recipe and maybe I need to adventure and find a better, less sticky recipe. Suggestions welcome. But I bake bread once a month, so there's not a lot of opportunity for adventuring. ...(excuses)

Anyway that's kind of tangential. What concerns me is the frustration I have with the stickiness. Isn't that exactly what I've been praying over? Isn't the stickiness a good sign--that the yeast is working, that the fibres in the wheat are reacting to the water and the eggs and the oil and the yeast, are sticking together and are going to bake into some good solid loaves? The sticky dough gets everywhere. All over my hands. There's no way to bake bread without kneading it, and there's no way (so far, in my limited experience) to knead bread dough without getting covered in bread dough. Is there a way to build up a community without kneading it? Is there a way to knead a community without getting covered in community? It sticks--you can't join in without actually coming into contact with the messiness and the stickiness. You can't enjoy doughy goodness without kneading that doughy goodness. You need it, you knead it. Simple. 

By opening our mouths tomorrow at the table, and by putting that piece of doughy goodness on our tongues, we acknowlede the life and death of Jesus. We acknowledge the lives of the people around us, other grains in this big loaf, this big body. You need that community? You're gonna have to knead that community. You definitely need daily bread...so you better be kneading that daily bread. 

This hits me at a time when I'm kind of in between worlds. WAIT A MINUTE. I've been in between worlds for far too long now, it's too normal. End of my MTS. Beginning of life without school (for now). Starting out in a new church community full of new friends. Not seeing near enough of old friends. Crashing unsociably at the end of a school term, keeping up with a new job. Rethinking old art projects, too lazy to start new projects (I hope that will change!). 

Nothing's really sticking right now. It's kinda like, so much of the old is gone, that I'm not sure what to stick the new to. And now the bread is baked, time to sleep. Maybe I'll dream up some answers.